Pelosi: Well, I’m glad we are in agreement. I AM an ardent, practicing Catholic and I myself have studied all of these issues very, very carefully.Plausible, no?
Pope: Perhaps this will aid your studies. (The papal secretary hands the Pope a book). Some light reading for your flight home. It is the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which I edited. Do you have a copy?
Pelosi: No. I mean — not one that I have read. (Nervously looking to Rep. George Miller for help) Yes, I have a copy that is still in its cellophane wrapper.
Pope: I have taken the liberty of marking a few passages for you. I believe this section which reads, “Human life must be respected and protected from the moment of conception,” might interest you.
Pelosi: Excuse me your Holiness, but . . . I, I, I don’t have to read that, I’ve been studying this issue for a long time. The National Catholic Reporter, and the New York Times, also, each had wonderful pieces on this back in the early 80’s, I believe. And over the centuries the Church has not been able to define when life begins. You know — when it actually starts.
Pope: The Church does not need to define such a thing; science has defined it for us. Regardless of one’s belief: Life begins at conception, Madame Speaker. This is a fact.
Pelosi: I knew you were going to say that. And I have to protest — uh . . . We are in a new era in America, your Holiness. It is a time of change. With President Obama’s election we are rediscovering many things . . .
Pope: Has there been some new discovery regarding when life begins?
Pelosi: Well, whatever it is — the Church — Senator, uh, Saint Augustine said it was three months. Life begins at three months. We just don’t know. But whenever it is, it has no bearing on a woman’s right to choose.
Pope: Right to choose what?
Pelosi: Right to choooooose.
Pope: Choooooose what?
Pelosi: Well, to terminate the . . . uh. The abortion. The fetus. The control of our bodies to terminate the choice . . . abortion.
Pope: To abort one that does not yet exist? Didn’t you just say life didn’t begin until three months after birth?
Pelosi: I knew you were going to say that. I said, the Church has not defined when life begins.
Pope: Science has definitively proven that life begins at conception. This is not matter of faith, but of fact.
Pelosi: Well, I have free will, you know.
Pope: I can see that.
Pelosi: In the United States we want abortions to be safe and rare and reduce the number of abortions.
Pope: By permitting more of them?
Pelosi: Yes. Uh. Legal and rare. We want them to be (raising her voice, the mantilla slipping) reduced. We want the numbers of abortions to reduce.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Pope and Pelosi
~a fantasy conversation via the NRO