Thursday, February 19, 2009

Pope and Pelosi

~a fantasy conversation via the NRO
Pelosi: Well, I’m glad we are in agreement. I AM an ardent, practicing Catholic and I myself have studied all of these issues very, very carefully.

Pope: Perhaps this will aid your studies. (The papal secretary hands the Pope a book). Some light reading for your flight home. It is the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which I edited. Do you have a copy?

Pelosi: No. I mean — not one that I have read. (Nervously looking to Rep. George Miller for help) Yes, I have a copy that is still in its cellophane wrapper.

Pope: I have taken the liberty of marking a few passages for you. I believe this section which reads, “Human life must be respected and protected from the moment of conception,” might interest you.

Pelosi: Excuse me your Holiness, but . . . I, I, I don’t have to read that, I’ve been studying this issue for a long time. The National Catholic Reporter, and the New York Times, also, each had wonderful pieces on this back in the early 80’s, I believe. And over the centuries the Church has not been able to define when life begins. You know — when it actually starts.

Pope: The Church does not need to define such a thing; science has defined it for us. Regardless of one’s belief: Life begins at conception, Madame Speaker. This is a fact.

Pelosi: I knew you were going to say that. And I have to protest — uh . . . We are in a new era in America, your Holiness. It is a time of change. With President Obama’s election we are rediscovering many things . . .

Pope: Has there been some new discovery regarding when life begins?

Pelosi: Well, whatever it is — the Church — Senator, uh, Saint Augustine said it was three months. Life begins at three months. We just don’t know. But whenever it is, it has no bearing on a woman’s right to choose.

Pope: Right to choose what?

Pelosi: Right to choooooose.

Pope: Choooooose what?

Pelosi: Well, to terminate the . . . uh. The abortion. The fetus. The control of our bodies to terminate the choice . . . abortion.

Pope: To abort one that does not yet exist? Didn’t you just say life didn’t begin until three months after birth?

Pelosi: I knew you were going to say that. I said, the Church has not defined when life begins.

Pope: Science has definitively proven that life begins at conception. This is not matter of faith, but of fact.

Pelosi: Well, I have free will, you know.

Pope: I can see that.

Pelosi: In the United States we want abortions to be safe and rare and reduce the number of abortions.

Pope: By permitting more of them?

Pelosi: Yes. Uh. Legal and rare. We want them to be (raising her voice, the mantilla slipping) reduced. We want the numbers of abortions to reduce.
Plausible, no?


Cookie said...

Plausible until the very last paragraph. Pelosi would NEVER wear a mantilla! Hello!! ;)

Argent said...

She wore a head covering when she visited the Middle East, though.

Anonymous said...

Good for our Holy Father!

[even if it is make believe]