We have begun the fourth week of our Adoration Chapel. The big and small details that make for a smoothly-run chapel are being worked out in the background by the team leaders. I am grateful for the people who have made the commitment to be divisional leaders, hourly leaders....captains and lieutenants in this wondrous army of adorers. I had chosen not to be part of the team, partly because of my work load, and partly out of obedience to humility. It's too easy for me to be involved in everything. I notice way far too much and feel pulled to make changes.
And so with Adoration, I wanted to do just one thing....to adore. I wanted to be able to commit my time in Christ's Presence undistracted by details. Since my conversion, outside of the Mass, Adoration has been the one thing that draws me powerfully to Being.
I exist out of the goodness of God. And before the Blessed Sacrament, I bring my whole existence, with all its unfulfilled potential, its glaring flaws, its unmerited triumphs, before the source of all.
Wonder and awe are the ever-present emotions that I feel there. Perhaps, they stem from previous experiences in another place of the prejudice against Adoration, sadly of a priest, and the remembrance of the browbeating I received for asking for more Adoration hours. The horror of listening to him rant against the burden of filling the hours makes me shudder to this day. I wonder if my persistent requests led him close to the sin of irreverence. I am filled with great sadness for those times past.
Then, there are other times of Eucharistic Adoration, that make me grateful for Christ's humility in offering himself in Host and Chalice....Corpus Christi procession in Rome following the Vicar of Christ....kneeling on the hard marble floor of the cathedral of Sorrento with the Bishop only a couple of feet from me, holding Christ aloft in the monstrance, the gold threads of his vestments and the canopy gleaming through the haze of clouds of incense, the Pueri Cantore chanting "Adoro te devote".
In our Adoration Chapel, those past wounds and glorious memories help me give thanks for the simplicity of entering the door, getting down on my face, then rising to gaze on the Blessed Sacrament. There, I contemplate on the Sacred Banquet, uniting my battle scars from the week's wrestling with life to that of the Greatest Passion, and for a brief moment, I am pierced with a sense of future glory when we finally behold God face to face. All words flee, there is only the moment when time's limitation is broken and eternity intrudes.